Two immediate things are bothering me at the moment, mainly because I don't fully understand how they integrate into my overall health problems and whats going on behind the scenes.
This is symptom is rather annoying. It manifests as a dull ache just under rib cage on the right hand side. There are times when it aches less however I've not noticed any regularity towards that suggests a dietary/lifestyle change might help. So far Milk thistle has done didly squat.
There is a likely to be an indirect link, either from adrenal fatigue or candida, or prehaps just stress. Using my completely unscientific brain, it probably follows that a build up of toxins is hard on the liver, which can occur when they body is compremised as in adrenal fatigue and/or candida.
Despite this my bowell movements are relatively good, 2 a day usually. The quality on the other hand is poor and they are typically creamy and absolutely stink. I consume bucket loads of green veg a day so I don't think fiber is the issue, however it might be worth noting down the grams of fiber I consume in a typical day.
I guess it's possible its a hang up from my high carbohydrate days, therefore hypoglycemia, therefore high insulin levels. That spiralled me into exhaustion and it probably wouldnt be too far fetched to see that the liver is struggling as well.
I'm stumped on this one. I'm not going to attempt a 'liver flush' in my fagile state, especially because of my hypoglycemia. I may try a different tonic of herbs and vitamins/minerals but have no idea what might help
Nervousness. fear, excitability
All these attributes can be grouped together under brain fog, anxiety, always feeling on edge and a compromised stress response.
This is really tough to deal with, and I'm going to make it my focus to relax, and not trigger the fight or flight response so often. Its frustrating knowing that each surge of needless adrenaline is probably further aggrevating your condition.
The 2 instances where I have struggled with this is getting a car and buying some long term shares.
Shares as you probably know involved money, and we are all by nature through our culture inclined to have an emotional attachment to money. Win a lot of money and your mood elavates to abnormally high levels, loose alot and depression sets in. For someone in my position the elevation or decline can stay with me for days, often weeks, and you can physically feel the adrenaline permanantly sloshing round your body. Not nice.
And so a long term investment in shares is tricky. It was a completely rational, sensible decision with an amount of money I can afford to loose, yet keeping my off it is almost impossible. It's not even likely to fluctuate much for years and is very much a long term thing.
I can't be angry at myself for thinking it, but instead try to forget about it by not constantly checking the price. I'm sure I will settle eventually. I was hoping to 'paper trade' (trading with fake money), for a few months to potentially earn a second income, but even though it's fake, there is still an unhealthy element of emotional attachment, and therefore excitability about making money further down the line.
The reason for getting involved with stocks and shares? To continue to fund my health costs and to have a lump saved up for a battery of tests and appointments in the future should I need them. There is certainly no alterior motive such as fast cars or nice houses.
The second instance where excitability and nervousness plays apart is in the purchase of a new car. Not only is it exciting to buy one, but it's also nerve wracking to drive one, again amplified by the compromised state I am in.
On face value this would appear to be detrimental to my health, but I believe it will be something worth ploughing through. I have problems with an addictive personality and being a compulsive thinker. I believe this contributed to my exhaustion both mentally and physically, manifesting as a carbohydrate addiction with a perfectionist mentality. As I'm now relatively immobile, I unfortunately continue to feed the addictive nature I have by spending long periods of time in front of a screen, therefore stimulating my brain and adrenals constantly. It's created a loop which really needs to be broken.
It seems so strange that I find this the hardest part to helping my health. I quiet happily devote alot of time throughout the day getting good quality food in me at the right times along with supplements yet I fail to address the psychological aspect, often allowing myself to spend time in front of the computer after work as a way of relaxing.
Well things need to change, and now I have a car and I can go and do whatever I want. I hope to ease myself into guitar lessons, language lessons, tai chi and possibly meditation every week and to make a committment to stick to it. My active brain so often gets bored and is unable to see the bigger picture.
Anywho I'm rambling and should take my own advice and calm down.
Here's to good health.