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Well, after the excitement of finding a local raw dairy supplier and enjoying the process of learning and creating ghee, dairy in all forms (from cow’s milk at least) will be put on hold once again.

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Man-o-man my days have become about survival at the moment. A quick glance in the mirror in the morning prior to hopping in the shower reveals some nice racoon style dark circles under my eyes.

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Well, what a year, and one which I can probably say has ended slightly on the positive side. I wouldn’t say that I’ve picked up a huge amount of forward momentum, but more stopped the rot and stabilised. Also coming across GAPs towards the latter part of the year has filled me with a deep confidence that recovery is possible, despite how complicated it seems at the moment.

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My health journey has taken some interesting twists and turns of late, the new area of interest being the liver.

For the majority of my poor health I have had a gnawing ache under my rib cage on the right side. Twice my liver enzymes registered as normal and I dismissed it as a consequence of generally being fatigued and secondary to other health concerns.

I'm now starting to give the liver a little more thought, interested by the traditional chinese medicine view of 'liver qi ('chi')' and it's impact on general health.

After getting nowhere using adrenal supplementation I decided to trace back my steps starting with digestion. Perhaps I'm not absorbing nutrients effectively? After all most nutrients will pass through the body if the liver is weak - were my thoughts. Trying to boost the adrenals when your digestion is so poor must be akin to skating uphill..on ice.
And so I made some observations.
1 - Direct bowel support - colonics, probiotics, fiber, herbal cleansers, clean diet etc have not helped me get regular or ease the ache from my side.
2 - My stools are often pale and poorly formed, which in part from what I've read can be a bile issue, and lack thereof. This can contribute towards constipation.

3 - The chinese view IBS related symptoms as a problem with liver qi stagnation and fundamental problem for overall poor health. I'm not quite fully grasping the lingo but TCM is incredibly interesting, and by the looks of things very helpful to many people.
I undertook some changes as a result of these thoughts, with variable results. The first was to supplement directly with additional bile acids. I opted for a fairly potent formula which I used in proportion to how much fat I was consuming during the meal used. The results were positive, my stools were well formed, a darker brown and I've been fairly regular since.

I combined this with digestive enzymes and what I previously thought to be my arch nemesis, betaine HCL. The liver plays a fundamental role in digestion and almost certainly mine is impaired significantly. My reaction to HCL with or even towards the end of meals has been positive, giving me no immediate side effects. The effects of digestive enzymes are a little harder to trace without drawing up a detailed food diary and analysis of feelings but I think they are doing me some good.

So I'm eliminating well and will pursue this path a littler further. My most immediate health goals are consistent bowel movements and regular sleep, the later needing some significant work. Also on the supplemental menu is chinese bitters, to cleanse the liver. These apparently can pack a bit of a punch in terms of boosting and purging the liver of toxins, as well as aiding digestion. I've built up a nice collection of partially used herbs and supplements during my health journey such as turmeric, milk thistle, lecithin, dandelion and artichoke and it may be time to dust off the cobwebs and consider them for there liver regenerative properties.

I'll see how things go as I continue to learn about the body and it's many functions. Give me a few years and I reckon I'll have most of it covered ;)

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Some personal thoughts I felt compelled to share. Highlights the complexity of emotions and feelings when one has multiple body wide symptoms.

Broadly speaking physically and mentally it kind of feels like the culmination of almost a lifetime of not being 'free', instead being overly sensitive and stimulated by my surroundings that has culminated in a body that simply can't keep up, ahearing to ideologies and unhealthy traits outside of myself that have caused a disharmony that I'm battling to balance. The reliance on sugar and a manifestation of these feelings have left me where I am today, constantly looking for solutions. I've always looked to others to tell me what to do, and feel frustrated that I can't conjure up my own feelings of love, courage, commitment, creativity and joy. I'm stagnent in my ability to experience true happiness. One quick signal from the body, whether it's a sleepless night, a reminder of my slim frame, or 2 days without a bowel movement disipates any positivity I am able to conjure up. Considering the harmonious attachment of mind and body, how can I possibly overcome the body's cries with a mental calmness and stability? Lots of people are out there willing to help me but my barriers are strong, and I relenquish almost all control to them in the hope of a miraculous turnaround. This is how I feel perfectionism manifests. I'm searching for someone or something to tell me 'the right way'.

I feel like I'm chasing a lifestyle or normality and continue to punish myself for being further and further away from that ideology. With each new symptom and or life situation that drags me further from this ideology, the thiner and longer the tightrope wire becomes. I constantly crave feelings of improvement, akin to a sprinter finally getting out his blocks on his way to the finish line as fast as possible. Instead I never feel like I start the race, and self perpetuate running backwards in the opposite direction. Do I have anyone to beat? Only myself.

I'm a smart, good looking, funny, articulate and intelligent young man. My random insights and quick wit make me favourable company when I am in a positive mood and not physically burdaned. I ultimately want to share my life with others on a deeper level but fear what they think of me. I feel I have the potential for true achievement but this translates into a yearning that clouds a level of acceptance for who I am in this second of this minute of this hour. I don't want to play out my life sick, on a computer and stagnant. I want to experience the freshness, stillness and exuberence of mountain biking through a english forest in the mild heat of spring, or once again commanding the defence of my local lacrosse team - not through boisterous volume, aggression, and anger, but instead encouraging and experiencing unity and passion for spending those moment with others, all striving for a common goal. I want to experience the vibrant colours and scenary of some of the most beautiful places in the world such as the blue caribbeans beaches or an african sunset. I want to embrace cultures, particular those where happiness and contenment come from within, not from a society where the size of your paycheck rules.

Almost as instantly as I conjured up those thoughts I'm back in my bed, lying in my dressing gown constipated with a throbbing right side at 4.20pm. Could I have done more today regardless? yes.

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Trying not to let me anger and frustration overflow too much, however I was given a stark reminder into the orthodox view of sub clinical chronic illnesses by my GP.

As I have been experiencing more digestive related symptoms of late, including abdominal/stomach ache, pop bellied feeling, occasional nausea, flatulence, gas, bloating, loose stools, stomach burning and constipation, I decided to approach my GP for a general rendezvous, and perhaps the option of doing a H Pylori breath test.

 Almost immediately I was ‘diagnosed’ as having IBS, then told my physical symptoms were a manifestation of my mental state, then told to take up yoga, rounded off nicely with the comment ‘M.E is a disease of despair’.
So not only was I denied a simple test, but I was hit hard with some ignorant orthodox views. I left mildly flustered to say the least.

 I’m trying to look at this symptom set rationally, with the following scenarios....

IBS as a result of adrenal fatigue – Definitely likely. Not experiencing much relief from AF supplements alone. In fact these symptoms, especially constipation can further weaken the adrenals and if absorption is a problem, adrenal supplements may not be affective.      
Stomach ulcer – Quite possible again. I occasionally get burning after meals (often in the eve) and experienced burning from taking a single HCL capsule. Not quite sure whether the full range of symptoms can be attributed to this.

H Pylori – A potential cause of the above

Candida – Again likely. I had a colonic a week ago and didn’t experience any lasting relief. Hard to gauge whether problems are occurring before or in the gut.

Acid Reflux – None of the symptoms appear to be any higher up than my belly button. This is where the burning and abdominal aches are occurring.

Hiatus hernia – Again would probably rule this out similar to above.
Sluggish liver – Feels burdened at the moment, but I assume is not directly related to
Food allergies – I already have a supremely restricted and hypoallergenic diet. If it is anyway it will be something obscure like kale or spinach! Unlikely I suspect. Trying a 4 day constant diet to see if things change.


Current approaches.....

 
General digestion and stomach – zinc, B vitamins

H pylori – Mastic gum – 2g a day

Ulcer – Licorice root (for the adrenals as well) – ½ a teaspoon in the morning, slippery elm – 1 teaspoon in a gruel once a day.

Candida – Haven’t really started yet due to shot adrenals and a sluggish liver. Was hoping for some improvement in other areas however that day may not come! I have florastor in the cupboard and may try some probiotics/kefir.

Liver – LivaTone plus - Predominantly milk thistle. Pantethine 900mg.

Not getting flustered, depressed!


I really should do some testing as well but I have no cash.
I’m now more determined than ever to prove my GP wrong and get well.

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I've always viewed meditation as something I would like to do, but thus far have struggled to get motivated to do it. It's odd, and difficult to rationalise, but for some reason it doesn't come easy wanting to learn to relax. Perhaps this is a hangup of western culture in general, and the need to always be 'switched on'.

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Going through a particularly tough time at the moment which could be due to a number of things.
I unfortunately ended up binging on Christmas day, feasting on fruits, starches, stuffing, turkey glazed in who knows what, a bit of chocolate and lots of cashews. I was also constipated on the day itself, which wasn’t very pleasant and have had trouble with regular BM’s for a while now.

I’m once again struggling with sleep, often only getting a few hours when I’m most backed up. This tends to ramp up the brain fog and anxiety.

I suspect this could all be a prolonged hangover from indulging in too many treats at Christmas. Not much else has changed in my routine. I’ve also picked up what I believe to be a stomach ulcer, as it aches most when I don’t have food in the stomach. To address this I’ve decided to try cabbage juice twice a day with some added greens, and slippery elm tea to help soothe the stomach. Also read that mastic gum, marshmallow root, chamomile, liquorice and a few other things can help lower stomach acid, although it’s sensible not to too try too many approaches. The added stress on my body from the Christmas slip up and lack of sleep is not likely to be helping.
So just getting through things at the moment. Regular, consistent bowel movements I feel are the key to helping my routine.

Ploughing on.

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I've stumbled across a few gems that I'd thought I would share.


Supersize me

Probably one of the more well known films about the fast food industry and it's impact on health.

The premise I think is somewhat flawed, as not many people get close to eating fast food for every single meal. The results are bound to be bad. However as poor nutrition often degrades health over a long period of time, watching this accelerated experiment unfold gives us a very useful insight into what can happen with a high refined carb and fat diet.

The highlights of the film for me are not the focus of the main character, Kevin Spurlock, but in broader areas of food such as school meals and the profiteering of the grocery industry.

Overall: 7/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0390521/  

All Jacked Up

This was an independent film I stumbled across quite recently that focuses on 4 teenagers and the impact nutrition is having on their lives.

It's got a great mixture of satircal cartoons, expert interviews (my personal fav being with the 'Health Ranger' Mike Adams) and industry truths regarding meat processing and grocery additives. The bulk of the movies is regarding the link between these 'typical' teenagers and the food and drink they are consuming.

Definately worth a watch in my opinion and available to download for $9.99
Overall: 8/10

http://www.alljackedupmovie.com/

Food inc

An excellent movie about the changing state of the mass market food industry in America. The main topics are about the mass market meat, corn and soybean industries that dominate most of the consumer marketplace.
This film has a slightly higher budget than the others so in general implements good combinations of imagery and sound. It's powerful and convincing, and has the potential to change your opinion on the foods you eat, especially meat.

Worth a watch if you can find it.

Overall: 8/10

http://www.foodincmovie.com/

Food Matters

This film focuses on the state of western medicine and reliance on pharmacueticals that contribute towards chronic health problems and disease. Of the 4 films, this one will give you the best insight into how the current medical and pharmaceutical industry operates (Quite easy to figure out - money!).

A great little documentary and a steal at $5 for an online viewing.
Overall: 8/10

http://www.foodmatters.tv

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