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Avoiding Total Embarrassment: How To Get Rid Of Swamp Ass




Man exercising with sweat stained clothes

Summer has come and gone and you must have gained a few memories. Under the scorching hot sun, the smile on everyone’s face, and the cold drink with your friends after it is all said and done. Yes, summer is the best time of the year for going out and having a blast. That is, if it does not involve a few embarrassing moments. While the warm weather is a welcome sign for everyone wanting to get away from the cold days of winter, it also means that you have to deal with a lot of moisture. The moisture that comes from the humidity, and of course, the one that you sweat out from your body. Being wet on a hot summer day is not the best feeling in the world, and it certainly will not show you in the best possible light when wearing the clothes that you like. For one, the sweat could run down to some interesting areas and form stains elsewhere.

In this article we are going to talk about the nightmare that is swampass. How to get rid of swamp ass and save your reputation is the question that more than a few people might have started asking ever since summer started. While, it may be too late for some, it is never too late to take precautions until the next hot summer day comes.

How To Get Rid Of Swamp Ass By Using A Lot Of Product

The advances of medical technology allowed humans to be virtually smelling like a peach for entire days even if the weather and genetics does not agree with you. But how do you know which one to use and how often you should use them. The short answer to that question is you have to experiment. Every one of us is built in a slightly different way. This means that some product tips that works for one person might not work for you. Keep it simple and try to use one at a time while mostly picking out the most popular products. You never know true freshness until you lather yourself with all the good chemicals that modern engineering has afforded us.

At the top of the list are the anti-perspirants. From the word itself, the basic description is that it stops your body from sweating when it starts feeling like it should. The most common usage of this product is by rubbing a funny shaped bottle on your armpits. While, this does not necessarily solve your swamp ass problem, it does prove a point that it works.

Swampass normally start from the sweat that rolls down your back and under your underwear will it will leave an unsightly brown stain. By using antiperspirant on your back that usually comes in powder form, you may be able to stop it from happening for some time. However, as you probably already know, not all sweat that runs down your body comes from the back. Most people have really sweaty scalps and necks and unfortunately there is not a product for that yet.

How To Get Rid Of Swamp Ass By Using Sweat Stoppers

If you have ever been involved in any physical sports, then you might already be familiar with sweatbands. These are the sponge like bands made of the same stuff of your towels. Depending on where it is situated, its main goal is to stop sweat from flowing or as an easy way to wipe your sweat off.

In our case, we want the sweatband to work in ways that it cannot reach our bottom. First place you might want to put it on your forehead. This way any sweat that comes from your scalp will not go past anywhere beyond the head. Unbeknownst to many, the scalp is one of the most sweat inducing areas of skin in our body. When the sweat comes dripping down from the head towards other parts of the body like the face, the neck and the back, we sometimes do not stop to think that the sweat could have come from a place that had access to all the other parts of the body once it starts rolling down. As a skeptic myself, I tried using a headband while running may daily route and lo and behold the sweatband was so stock full of sweat that you could fill a glass full of sweat with it.

The glaring problem here though is that there is no sweatband that can be wrapped around one’s back. If there was, it would be too uncomfortable or would be awful to look at. And as we all know, sweaty backs are a thing and might be the main cause of swamp ass in the first place. So, how do we make sure that our back is sunshine fresh and sweat free? There is a way, one that all mothers from the tropics know quite a lot about. What you do is you get a towel less than a foot in width and put it in your back while letting a bit hung out to make sure that it does not fall off. It will be able to catch any sweat dripping down your back and sweat that just accumulated from your back. This, combined with the head band will make sure that you will not be having swampy ass problems as long as you brought spares.

Compared to anti-perspirant products sweatbands are more of a sure thing in handling sweat problems because it does not bet on the fact that your body will respond in a way that the product intents to.

While not always stylish, the sporty look would be perfect for the summer days and this should alleviate your worries of looking a bit weird with all the gear that you are wearing. The headband has been popularized by a lot of high-profile athletes in a lot of different sports. So, you can just pretend to be supporting the local sports teams by donning their local colors when in fact, you are just worried about having a brown gushing stream down your white pants.

How To Get Rid Of Swamp Ass By Being Constantly Fresh

People who run the risk of having a swamp ass are mostly the people that need to change the way they freshen themselves up. For instance, not so much brown stuff would be running down your jeans if there was not any brown stuff to begin with anyway. So, you may want to switch from tissues to a bit more sophisticated solution. 

The first choice would be the bidet. Sure, it is a fancy upgrade over the great old American toilet and you might feel strongly against having water splatter on your behind. However, you should also put in mind that the best way to rid your body off something that sticks as hard as that is by dissolving it with something liquid. When we think about bidets, television has conditioned our minds to think of the complicated bidets that the far east usually offers. You know the ones that talk to you and gives you a lot of different options to clean up your bum. But this is normally not the case when it comes to bidets. There are some solid options that are simpler to understand and will not cost you an arm and a leg.

If the bidet is a little too rich for your taste then you might want to consider using damp tissues or wet tissues as some call it. These are usually made to wipe off grease from skin and to remove some light makeup. But a lot of people now use it to wipe off their bottoms after doing their business. The trick here is the second to the last rule. Wipe it off as you normally do then when you arrive at the second to the last wipe, use the wet one, then the dry one again so you will feel as fresh as possible.

When you talk about freshening up, you never forget to mention about the shower. When it is a hot and humid day, showering at least once a day and before bedtime is the best one to go. This fights the swamp ass in two ways. First, you would be fresher thus limiting the chances of sweating like a pig for that day. And second you can remove the brown particles stuck on interesting places of your body.

If you feel like it, you might also want to run a bath and soak in it for a few minutes. This way, you will be sure that water will reach every crevice of your body and you will be able to clean it off before it starts becoming a problem. Baths are quite soothing and relaxing too and this means you will be able to lessen the stress that would cause you to sweat in the first place.


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